20. March 2026

'Who Wants War?': Father of Service Member Killed in Iran Says He Never Told Hegseth to 'Finish' the Job

WASHINGTON-- Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth said Thursday that families of U.S. service members killed in the war with Iran urged him to press forward with the conflict, but at least one father who met with him disputed that characterization.

Speaking at a Pentagon briefing, Hegseth described an emotional meeting a day earlier at Dover Air Force Base in Delaware, where the remains of six service members were returned following a deadly plane crash in Iraq.

“What I heard through tears, through hugs, through strength and through unbreakable resolve was the same from family after family,” Hegseth said. “They said, ‘Finish this. Honor their sacrifice. Do not waver. Do not stop until the job is done.’”

Charles Simmons, whose 28-year-old son, Air Force Tech. Sgt. Tyler H. Simmons, was among those killed, said his conversation with Hegseth focused instead on his son’s life and service.

“I can’t speak for the other families,” Simmons told NBC News on Thursday. “When he spoke to me, that was not something we talked about.”

Simmons, a 60-year-old music teacher from Columbus, Ohio, said he also briefly spoke with President Donald Trump during the dignified transfer ceremony and appreciated the compassion both men showed. He said his discussion with Hegseth centered on Tyler’s military career and the risks inherent in such missions.

“I understand there’s a lot of peril that goes into making decisions like this, and I just certainly hope the decisions being made are necessary,” Simmons said he told the defense secretary.

Asked whether he urged either Hegseth or Trump to continue the war effort, Simmons said, “No, I didn’t say anything along those lines.”

Simmons said he still has unanswered questions about the conflict.

“Who wants war?” he said. “Sometimes it’s a necessity, and I just don’t know what’s going on.”

Pentagon spokesman Sean Parnell said details of the conversations between Hegseth and the families would remain private but emphasized the secretary’s respect for those who lost loved ones.

“Secretary Hegseth has the utmost respect for our Gold Star families and has pledged to honor the sacrifice of their loved ones,” Parnell said in a statement.

White House spokeswoman Olivia Wales said Trump “grieved” with the families and expressed the nation’s gratitude for the fallen service members.

“These men and women gave up their lives in defense of our freedom, and President Trump will never forget their honorable service and selfless devotion,” Wales said.

The Dover gathering was part of a “dignified transfer,” a solemn ceremony in which the remains of fallen service members are returned to the United States in flag-draped cases. Families may choose to meet with senior officials, including the president, vice president or Cabinet members.

Hegseth’s remarks echoed comments Trump made after a separate March 7 transfer involving other casualties from the conflict. Trump told reporters that “every single one” of those families had urged him to “finish the job.”

However, a public official who attended that earlier ceremony told NBC News they did not hear family members make such statements.

Rep. Eugene Vindman, a Virginia Democrat and Army veteran who attended the March 7 transfer for a fallen constituent, said he would be surprised if grieving families focused on the broader mission.

“The families there are dealing with a terrible, tragic loss,” Vindman said. “They’re still trying to make sense of what the loss means to them personally … They’re not thinking about the mission.”

The war, now in its third week, has drawn mixed reactions in the United States. The Trump administration says joint U.S.-Israeli strikes have significantly weakened Iran’s military capabilities. At the same time, the conflict has contributed to rising global oil and gas prices as Iran disrupts shipping through the Strait of Hormuz.

The debate intensified this week with the resignation of Joe Kent, a senior U.S. counterterrorism official, who said Iran did not pose an imminent threat to the United States.

For Simmons, the loss remains deeply personal. He said he last spoke with his son the day before the crash, recalling how Tyler told him “how much he loved me.”

Tyler Simmons had hoped to become a commercial pilot after his military service, his father said.

“Tyler had a magnetic personality,” he said. “He never met any strangers. He’d walk into a room, and it would be immediately illuminated.”